Author: Matthew Shelton

How To Speed-Write Haikus

Ok, the standard form for haikus is three lines: First line: 5 syllables Second line: 7 syllables Third line: 5 syllables Ideally, you write something that is jarring and unexpected for the third line, and all three lines hold together…

How to Calculate Tips

Knowing how to calculate tips quickly and easily is a really great thing-there are lots of social situations where it’s best if you can figure out the tip really quickly and in your head, because quite often in restaurants and…

Chick-fil-A slogan haikus 2

More homage to the Chick-fil-A? ad campaign- some more?Chick-fil-A? slogan haikus – what they are doing really stimulates my imagination.? Guess one reason is that I actually grew up helping my Granddad on his Angus cattle farm, so I know…

Chick-fil-A slogan haikus

Focused advertising with a hook to it is a wonderful thing. What’s even better is what I like to call “craziness that works.” The Chick-fil-A cows ad campaign is a stellar example of this, taking the idea that cows don’t…

Zombie Haikus

Ok I know you are hungry for zombie haikus so here’s installment number one:zombie haiku brains are everything

When you were alive
You wanted tough guys not brains
Brains are everything

Forgot to brush my teeth
But I’ll floss with your live flesh
What a happy meal

Half my face is gone
I scream when I smell your blood
Take me as I am

Used to have a job
Now I don’t care if I’m late
Let me punch your clock


I’m still dressed for work
Coat and tie and shoes and slacks
But my dead eyes burn

Remember when you
so wanted to be wanted
we really want you

bad floor buffing

Ready to see some bad floor buffing? I’ve done floor work pretty much my whole life, and recently discovered that there’s very little good instruction on: Competently running a floor buffing machine There’s videos by people who already know how…