Zombie Haikus

Ok I know you are hungry for zombie haikus so here’s installment number one:zombie haiku brains are everything

When you were alive
You wanted tough guys not brains
Brains are everything

Forgot to brush my teeth
But I’ll floss with your live flesh
What a happy meal

Half my face is gone
I scream when I smell your blood
Take me as I am

Used to have a job
Now I don’t care if I’m late
Let me punch your clock


I’m still dressed for work
Coat and tie and shoes and slacks
But my dead eyes burn

Remember when you
so wanted to be wanted
we really want you

bad floor buffing

Ready to see some bad floor buffing? I’ve done floor work pretty much my whole life, and recently discovered that there’s very little good instruction on: Competently running a floor buffing machine There’s videos by people who already know how…